A thrifty and delicious way to use pumpkins.

We waited until last minute to get pumpkins this year and by last minute I mean like the week of Halloween. For most people you're probably thinking "that is totally not last minute", but for a neurotic freak such as myself....if we waited any longer I would have panicked.

Planned on doing the pumpkin patch but opted out as to not deal with huge long lines on a weekend. So I took the small Irish prince to a local paint and hardware store that has a huge selection of just about any pumpkin you could think of.

We look around and find two perfect pumpkins and of course his royal highness had to get a miniature pumpkin to bring home and paint. All together this should have been 10.50 but to my surprise it wound up being 5.25. WHAT A SCORE!!!

Get the pumpkins home and prepare to carve after football is over. Tot and I carved a spider pumpkin which wound up looking more like a giant whole than a spider, which is fine because we had a splendid time doing it.... Note to self for next time, make sure the pumpkin is large enough for the template. While I did the harder pieces of his pumpkin he painted his mini and I reveled in how proud he was of himself.

It was late after carving just the one so I separated the seeds from the guts and bagged each seperately for the next day. After carving the second one the next morning( I hand drew captain barnacles from Octonauts) I again separated the innards.

In the afternoon I baked up the seeds Just some olive oil and sea salt for one batch and sea salt and cayenne pepper  for the second batch. I ate them In about a day flat.

Then I made Pumpkin pasta sauce/ "bisque"
Recipe

put all the innards into the food processor until it is a slightly chunky sauce consistency.
Then add enough chicken stock to go around your pot three turn. I then added about a cup of whole milk.  A shake of cinnamon, 4 cloves of garlic minced, a couple shakes of cayenne, a tablespoon of jarred Italian seasoning and about tenleaves of fresh sage chopped up nice and fine.

Let all of the ingredients come to a boil and then simmer for a half hour to an hour then add as much fresh shredded parm cheese and salt and pepper to taste.

Serve over pasta or eat as is!!

Pre-Preschool Fun.

I have had the immense pleasure and pain looking into preschools for our young prince and I have to say, I have found some great contenders. The problem is most won't accept him halfway into the year when he turns three and the two year old programs are just not advanced enough for him.

I am blessed to be a stay at home and we are always up to arts and crafts, counting, abc's, shapes, colors and incorporating learning wherever I can fit it in. It  is really fun to be the one to teach your little one all the things they will need to know for preschool and kindergarten. But as a stay at home or maybe it is just me, I found myself feeling that I needed to do a little more. Maybe structure out the day differently. Cartoons in the mornings will always remain, mama needs time for tea or coffee before leaping into the day ahead. But what does one do to find super awesome homeschool pre-school teaching lessons??? they hop on pinterest of course!!

Mud Hut Mama has a great timeline for a 36 month preschool teaching plan that you can follow straight through or do what you like with it and get this, she is a stay at home mom raising two little girls in an African Wildlife Reserve. While I haven't gotten to read her whole page through we did the week one letter activities today and they were fantastic. Super engaging, cute, and pretty simple for me and my little guy to follow. Tomorrow we are doing the week one salt tray activities but with flour because I have an extra bag of bleached flour that we will never use. http://www.mudhutmama.com/

We did a math/counting activity today using some Thomas the train number flash cards and his prized lego duplos. which involved counting them out and matching them to the number card. He had an absolute blast and that is what matters most besides the learning aspects.

I have some play-doh letter and number activities and also Halloween activities being planned for the upcoming weeks that I can not wait to share, along with some kid friendly cooking recipes. The most rewarding thing in life to me is to be the one to be raising my child, and spending that one on one time watching him grow into a little man. I am ever changing and adapting to his needs as they evolve and to me that is true beauty and happiness in life.

Anxiety sparks Inspiration

I honestly have no clue what has been going on with me lately. I have found myself in some sort of emotional, anxiety infused slump. I have battled this as long as I can remember and have been told by more than one therapists I have strong OCD tendencies. When I met Chris he was so relaxed and fun and I was/ am so uptight and particular. For a few weeks now I have been feeling blah but filled with jittery nerves. I thought this would be a good time to let go of having to have a clean house all the time, or letting the kitchen go until the morning/afternoon. BOY WAS I WRONG!!!! This did nothing but make me feel worse, twitchy, jumpy, drained, nervous, irritated, agitated, and simply anything but happy.

All of these feelings made me honestly reflect where I am and where I want to be as a person for myself and for my family. And simply I want it all. I want a clean house, to do lots of home cooking, to be home with our son, to be the best spouse possible, to be fun but to keep all my odd ticks,workout, look good,  and to start looking for schools to complete an education and have something to do when my little guy eventually goes off to school.

I do much better in life with a full plate than a bunch of unused idle time. When I thought about what I wrote in my yearbook as to where I would be in 10 years I said " married, with kids, and that I would own a spa" I basically have two of the three things I wanted to accomplish so well done Sam (pats self on back) But I have done nothing for myself career or education wise.

Cosmetology was my life, my passion, my happy place in high school. I graduated with good grades and I was pretty good if I do say so myself. But when I went to college I never found the time to take the state exam....DUMB GIRL!!! Now seven years later I have the burning desire again to go back, study hard and take the exam all while getting my education is Aesthetics. Now I am feeling  inspired, and searching schools, gathering as much information as I can ( I wouldn't be me without lists, and notes, and research and more lists and a ball of excitement, nerves and yes, even dread in the bottom of my stomach)

 I am thankful for all of the anxieties I have been feeling because it has sparked a fire in me that I was too afraid to light for so long. It has made me reevaluate my outlook, my purpose, my overall self.
This little mama is going to make her dreams come true even if it takes me another 10,20,30, even 40 years. I have a supportive man in my life and a good set of support outside of him now that I did not have before. I have an amazingly beautiful son who shows me everyday that you can be whatever and whoever you choose, he is my greatest lesson in life.

What being a mom means to me

First off I would not be a mother if it was not for my son's father. He has given me the best gift anyone could ever receive and for that I will always be eternally grateful. I also have to thank him for giving me the second best gift in the world (in my opinion) which is the ability to be a stay at home mother for the past two years.

Being a mom means many things to many different moms out there, and as women we are often too harsh on others who choose to parent differently out of necessity or otherwise.

So here is my rundown of good motherly traits

Nutrition: whether you breast or bottle feed you are doing a great job.
whether you give your kids all organic, homemade, takeout, non organic anything, or just give                       them what they want so they are fed and can grow....you are doing a great job keep it up. If they                   are fed and growing and are happy it is a win-win.

Working or Staying home: Some moms stay home and it is a wonderful experience that I myself get to enjoy and I wish every mom that wanted that ability could be home with their precious children. Some women work because they have to and they are doing an amazing thing for their families, I commend you. Some women choose to work because they need the time out of the home, to do something for themselves, to provide cushion cash, to socialize with other adults, and I applaud you for knowing you need that time for yourself.

Mommies who know doing what is best by their child is the right thing, those who let their imaginations blossom and encourage play and fun. A woman who isn't afraid to look silly just to see their child happy. A woman who knows that they don't always come first after having a child and is never resentful towards them. Someone who knows the importance of taking care of ones self or they will be unable to care for another. One who will move mountains for their children. One who is first and foremost a  parent and friend last. Someone who makes an open safe environment for communication. Knows when and where to to use tough love and when you need to be more soft and gentle. A mother who lets their dreams flourish and never tells them a dream is too big or small. A woman who cares deeply enough about the father to never speak ill of them around the child or in a public setting no matter the circumstances, this is toxic to your child in my humble and quite possibly wrong opinion. Someone who makes their child self sufficient and unafraid to fly the nest when it's time.  A mom who knows the importance of patience even if we don't always have it.Which brings me to acknowledging flaws; no one mother is perfect, it is impossible to ever say that we are but knowing where we need to improve in life or actions we need to correct even if its just saying "I'm sorry" or "I was wrong" can do wonders for a person's life.

With all of my silly opinions being said I would love to wish all of the Mom's out there a most wonderful and happy Mother's Day. May it be filled with love, appreciation, and joy and that you are surrounded by loved ones. Keep up the great work Mamas !!

Things My Toddler Does and Says That I Never Want To Stop.

When having a two year old there are many times you think, Please!! For the love of all things Holy will you stop doing/saying that. Sometimes we get wrapped up in their extra energetic, curious, mischievous behavior that we don't necessarily sit and relish in the things they do and say that we never want to stop. Laying in my bed with my darling little stinker at an entirely TOO early of an hour this morning I would usually be slightly irritated because I'm half awake and desperately need  20 more minutes. This morning I wound up being happy and content as soon as I snuggled in next to him and he held out his little hand for mine and said "hold my hand mommy"    Which brings me to a small list of the thousands of things I want to keep forever and ever.


Hand Holding, please don't stop reaching for my hand because some day I am going to need to reach out for yours for help.

Saying Good Morning Mommy, Honestly what better way to start your day.

When he says "I just want you mommy" I really need to stop what I'm doing every time and just hold him, he won't be small enough to hold for much longer.

Reading Stories, books are so very important in our house, never stop reading little man books are the windows to other worlds and open your mind up vastly to new things.

Being polite and using manners, you will need this your whole life and you need to be above all else a good person who is kind to others.

Using your imagination and being creative, This will make you a happy child and will help you dream big dreams in the future.

When you say "I love you TOO much" Please still say that when you're a teenager and I have said no to you my first "I hate you" will surely crush me.

When you say "Daddy you're my Hero" please always view him this way he has already done so much for me before we had you and continues to do so much every day. He should always be a hero in our eyes.

Quoting Movies, your Daddy does it all the time and I so very much love seeing all your similarities.

Cuddling in mommy's bed in the morning or climbing in to see daddy on his days off , I know this will have to stop as it will be quite strange if you do this when you are older but for now we love it and it is always welcome.

Never stop being a loving happy person, the way you take to people and can make anyone in any situation smile and fall in love with you is extremely precious to me. From the moment I found out you were in my tummy, the moment we all laid eyes on you for the very first time and to now I just knew how truly special you are.  Never ever stop being you kiddo because you are one heck of an amazing little boy.

Honestly I could sit in this chair and type for days all of the things I love about my little boy and hope that never dissipate with time and the happenings of life. A parents only real wish for their child is that they are happy healthy and a good person at the end of the day, and if he turns out anything like he is now I would have to say his father and I have done an amazing job.

Happiness Found In French Toast

Saturday morning I woke up wanting to make something different for breakfast, something a little special since the kiddo was going to his Nana's for the night. I decided rather quickly on berry and cream cheese french toast roll-ups, I mean does that not sound absolutely divine?

As I was getting everything I needed out and in order I could already tell my two year old was not going to let me just do my thing and call him in when his meal was ready. At first I was slightly frustrated because it is so much easier to get things done while left alone and then it dawned on me that this is such a simple breakfast with barely any kitchen tools needed and he really can participate up until the point of using the stove.

That is all he wanted was to help mommy anyway and he is at an age where small tasks are fun and a good learning experience for the both of us. I rolled up the sleeves on his completely adorable pj's set up all of our ingredients on the kitchen table handed him a butter knife and showed him how to remove crust from the bread and he was pretty good at it. I spread the cream cheese just because it seems to tear the bread a little when its not warm enough. Little Prince put the berries on the bread and most importantly to him inside his little Buddha belly. He whisked the egg while I sprinkled in cinnamon and he rolled the french toast in the mixture for me all on his own while I did the actual cooking process. This was the first time I really let him help cook anything, he's mixed banana and oat cookies before but that only required a fork or his hands so this was extra special to me as a first moment.


I was so impressed, he was so happy and I have to say I had a great time just the two of us in the kitchen. I sipped coffee he chugged his milk. we laughed and hugged and shared little Eskimo kisses. I was super proud of my little man and most importantly he was extremely proud of himself. His cooking experience seems minimal in the eyes of an older kid or to that of what an adult can do but to him it was like he made a five course Christmas dinner for twenty people. His sheer joy and happiness from letting him do some of the work in creating his first meal of the day could fill my happiness jar for a thousand years.

A child's happiness isn't about money, new toys, the best of the best in the latest whatever it may be, it is the time you spend, it is in simple every day activities, it is being together, sharing laughs, and simply you being there for them. That is a child's true happiness. We created sheer bliss from some french toast and I will always hold it near and dear in my heart even if years from now he won't remember it.

Coupon Frustration

I so badly wanted to be a coupon clipping,money saving, super mama. Reality is that coupon clipping frustrates me and by the time I'm done searching I'm borderline angry.

If I wanted to feed my family pre-packaged, frozen, chemical ridden foods every single night couponing would be a blast. But the endless search for healthy, organic, or even foods with less preservatives and junk in them is next to impossible (or at least in my experience)

I had lost close to all hope in saving any money on the foods we purchase and then I found the Cartwheel app from target.I have used so many coupons on there from cleaning supplies, diapers, pullups, holiday stuff, and YES even HEALTHY ORGANIC FOODS!!! Target once again you are a Godsend. The rewards card for the commissary has some good finds here and there especially for personal care items and the like, also great deals on k-cups.  Even with these two digital coupon systems it just isn't enough to make a serious dent in the bill, which leads me to wanting more, more coupons, more savings and I'm getting zero results.


What I don't understand is why companies are not making it easier for people to make better food choices for their homes. If I were an Organic company I would be handing out coupons left and right. I also wonder why I haven't heard more consumers pitching a fit about the great deals on (no offense) Garbage foods and the few and far between on good wholesome foods and products. I think if we make a larger fuss over this topic maybe companies would listen and we can get somewhere with better eating and healthy living as a whole.

If anyone has found the holy grail of health food coupons or are the health food coupon clipping guru. You sharing your wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

What is a Grandma?

A Grandma is a.....
A tuck you in snug as a bug
A I can't sleep, please one more hug.
A Grandma is a sugary treat
A I don't care if the house isn't neat
A kiss or two or three or four
A, alright but just one more.
A Grandma is like a mom, a sister, a friend
 A Grandma will be by your side until the very end.
A woman who is super strong.
A woman who loves you even if you were wrong.
A woman who knows you can go far
A summer time song in the car
You see....
A Grandma is so special to me.


A Grandma is one of the first Heroes a Child has and will continue to see that way their whole lives. A grandparent doesn't judge, they can not hate, they have an undeniable eternal love for their grandchildren, as do grandfathers. I have been so very blessed to be given the amazing, strong, beautiful, kind, encouraging, amazing inside and out Gram that I have. When I simply did not believe that I could keep going on she pulled me out of the darkest place I have been in and showed me how great I truly could be. She has done this her whole life, with her husband (my beloved poppy), her children, her other six grandchildren, everyone she comes in contact with I'm sure has been touched by her in some way.                                                                                    

My son, her very first Great Grandchild, now gets to enjoy her. And while he doesn't get to see her every day like I got to growing up he enjoys her phone calls more than anything in the world. My grandparents to him are like Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus two amazing magical people. Seeing the love between them on our visits fills my heart with so much joy and you can see the joy radiating from all three of them when they are together.

My mother is the same kind of wonderful grandparent as her mother was to me. I can only foresee the special bond they will share. In that same sense my mother in law is the same way which only proves more that I made the right choice when I fell in love with her son. It makes me so thankful that my little prince will grow up having these amazing women in his life. A Grandmother truly is a blessing that is hard to put fully into words, you can try, but there is never enough good to say.

Clean Chili

The other day little dude and I were watching T.V. and they were making a delish pot of chili. After I said buddy that chili looks so yummy he decided that is what he wanted for dinner. I was thinking of calories and fat percentages in my head and almost said sorry buddy no chili tonight, Then it hit me! I can totally improvise and make a clean chili for my beautiful fan and it doesn't have to be skimpy on comfort, flavor,or being filling. I think those are the most intimidating things when people switch to clean eating, " is it going to be yummy, am I going to be full?" The answer is YES!!!! Everything is flavorful and super filling if done the right way.  

For all the Chili lovers I am providing a break down of my version but you can be super creative and add or remove anything that you choose. 

Here is what we snagged at the  grocery store: 

                                                                      2 small yellow squash (1 large will do)

                                                                      2 Green peppers (you can do as many of any color)

                                                                      1 Red onion

                                                                      1 Can organic Kidney Beans

                                                                      1 twenty two ounce Can organic diced tomatoes

                                                                      1 lb lean ground turkey. 

From the Pantry at home:                     

                                                                     2 cloves garlic (used my garlic press)

                                                                     Salt and Pepper (to taste)

                                                                     Chili Powder (to taste)

                                                                     a dash of Red pepper

So basically all you do is saute the squash, peppers, and onions in with the garlic. Then I added the ground turkey to the veggies. Cook that all together then add your kidney beans, diced tomatoes, and spices; cover and let it get all bubbly for about 35 mins. VOILA, CHILI!!! 

We served ours over a bed of brown rice, but you don't have to. I also put Sriracha all over mine (just a personal preference. You can add cheese, jalapenos, tortilla crumbles. Totally up to you. Enjoy. XOXO 

I am WORTHY, YOU are WORTHY

The past few years have been a long road of letting myself be loved and loving myself. When you are told that NO ONE will EVER  Love YOU, that YOU are DAMAGED Goods, that YOU are not WORTHY, are probably some of the worst words you could possibly ever hear. To hear those words at an age where worthiness, love and acceptance are most important (teen years) is completely heart wrenching, looking back.


At the time of those words being said they hurt, but they came from someone who was supposed to love you more than anyone else in the world (a "parent" ) I certainly found them to be true. It made me seek seclusion from everyone and everything because I clearly couldn't even be loved or liked by my own family and friends. While my inner self was crumbling slowly and I became more disgusted with "who I was, the damaged girl" I did everything in my power to make the outsides look seemingly perfect. No one could ever see what was going on if  I slapped the band aid over the problem, right?

Past relationships could and would never work out for the simple fact that I did not love myself enough to believe that someone else could love me too. In 2010 that all changed when I met dare I say, my "Prince Charming" He made me want to open up to love. He loves me unconditionally, he knows I am a work in progress. He sees I have come along way and still have a long way to go. I feel confident with him, and challenged, and I know that I am enough. He is a great man who is always encouraging and supports me in every way possible. He is my Hero. I never thought it possible to love a man so much, he is my best friend and my rock.

I have a son who doesn't see me as broken or damaged I am his HERO. I couldn't be a good mother without his wonderful father. My son has showed me infinite love and the most pure of all loves.   I have come around to family who have always loved me even when I thought they couldn't, and I am forever grateful that I have, because I love them so very much.

It has taken years for me to realize that I am NOT damaged that I AM WORTHY. That the person who said and did the things to make me feel that way is and was always wrong. That there is something wrong with them, and not me.

I don't want anyone to ever feel this way, no child should ever have to hear those words or be made to believe they are true. And remember when you see someone who seemingly has it together or doesn't want anyone around, maybe they NEED a little love and compassion, you can change their perspective on themselves and life.

FREE AT LAST

From diapers, that is.

The other day I was sipping my tea, just thinking about everything and anything that normally runs through a woman's mind 24/7 and realized we have not purchased or put a single diaper on our son in over a month.

The entire process of potty training is long, and exhausting, and frustrating for parents and probably the toddler too. With all the accidents and floor scrubbing, wet pull up replacing, and racing to the potty, I was too consumed to see the actual progress my son has made.

He only wears a pull up to bed, and uses padded undies with character undies over them during the day, we are down to about 1 accident, 2 at most a day. And while as the adult sometimes you don't see that accomplishment as a huge hurdle they have jumped over for the 2 year old that honestly is quite monumental in my opinion.

This has also helped me open my eyes to the fact that he needs less frustration when accidents happen and a little more understanding from me. Of course when he is a big boy and uses the potty properly he gets tons of praise but it wouldn't hurt to give him just a smidge bit more either. The kid hasn't even been 2 for a month and he is just about fully potty trained, I find this to be quite impressive, personally.

Potty training does make me a little sad however, it shows me my baby is no longer a baby and turning into quite the independent little boy. He will always love me and from time to time in his adult life he will still need me, but why can't time just slow down a tiny tad? It is our own faults really, rush rush rush through the day and start the hustle and bustle all over the next morning. We get so stressed over things that when you take the time to think about it, they mean nothing at all in the bigger picture of life.

So potty training has taught me as a mother many things, the most important is to take a deep breath and let go of anything that doesn't heed importance at the end of the day, to enjoy my son (because being a mom is my biggest passion in life) To try and have more patience and understanding of the frustration and big changes my little man is going through. And to keep on keeping because after one hard stage comes another, no one said parenting was easy, but they certainly have never said it wasn't worth it in the end.

New Year, NO New Me.

I'm not a huge fan of the typical New Year, New Me facebook posts and pictures. I don't feel the need to change my whole self but gently remind myself to work on things that should be done every day of every year. No Jan 1st resolution needed.

Be Healthy: As in taking care of myself better than I do. Putting better food into my body and making more time to work out even if its 15 mins a day with the toddler climbing up my back. Notice this has nothing to do with looking good but rather feeling good. This is for longevity, I want to live to see great grandchildren.

Time for friends and family: I need to use my time as a SAHM better, and put in more effort to spend my spare time with friends and family even if it is a few hours at a time.

More Patience: This by no means is a new goal but a reminder all day every day, every month, every year, since becoming a parent.

Time for my Significant other: Make it a point to plan out some dates with him instead of making him do it. and I'd love for us to have an adult night once a month if possible. I am fine with our free night consisting of take out and a redbox movie. It is important to spend that time. I also will stay off my phone unless it pertains to our baby during our time together.

Going Back To School: I can't guarantee I will be going full time, or at all by the end of the year but I would at least like to get all of my ducks in a row to go back by December of next year. I know that is a long time and I'm home all day so why not just do it especially if it is online classes? I want to make sure that I will have the time to study and do well on top of doing many of the mommy son things I enjoy doing so much. I want to make sure I can fit everyone and everything in and not have my son or boyfriend be on the losing end of the stick. Chances are I'll take a couple courses and pick up more when my precious goes to nursery school. I have to finish school, I want to finish school.

Read more books: I love to read and need to read more books this year, and that is that.

So there you have it my tiny to the point list of goals for 2014. Easy, doable, nothing overwhelming or something that seems to be impossible.